How to Bake A Cake

Taken from the same cookbook below. I like this one!!!

Light the oven. Get out bowl, spoons and ingredients. Grease the pan. Crack nuts. Remove 18 blocks and 7 toy autos from the kitchen table. Measure 2 cups of flour. Remove Kelly's hands from the flour. Wash flour off him/her. Measure one more cup of flour to replace the flour on the floor. Put the flour, baking powder and salt in a shfter. Get the dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl which Kelly knocked on the floor. Get another bowl. Answer doorbell. Return to the kitchen and remove Kelly's hands from the bowl. Wash Kelly. Get out egg. Answer phone. Return. Take out greased pan. Remove pinch of salt from the pan. Look for Kelly. Get another pan and grease it. Answer the phone. Return to the kitchen and find Kelly. Remove his/her hands from the bowl. Wash shortening from him/her. Take up greased pan and find 1/4 inch of nutshells in it. Head for Kelly who flees, knocking bowl off the table. Wash kitchen floor, wash the wall, wash the dishes. CALL THE BAKERY. LIE DOWN.

One more:

Use a recipe? Never! My mother-in-law said.

She gets all her measurements from inside her head.

Just add a speck more and it will be right,

and lo and behold her rolls are so light.

So I tried this method of using my head,

When I made for my husband my first batch of bread,

And even for luck on wood I did knock,

And guess what I got--bread hard as a rock.